It has been three years since Hrithik Roshan and Sussanne Khan parted ways, but the actor says his former wife’s opinion still matters a lot to him. He also says while he still believes in love, he won’t give marriage another chance.

 
 
In an interview for his latest release “Kaabil”, Hrithik talked about his film, the not so lucky 2016, love and marriage:

 
 Q. Sussanne saw the film and praised you to the skies. Many who have seen the film say this is your best performance to date?
 
I am so relieved. I am so glad Sussanne liked the film. Her opinion means the world to me. I am the happiest when people say “Kaabil” truly is a small film with the largest heart in the world. Some were surprised, others seem shocked. It is truly overwhelming for dad, Sanjay Gupta, Yami Gautam and myself.
 
 Q. How do you think its simultaneous release with “Raees” will affect your film?
 
 No idea. All kinds of permutations and combinations are possible. I want the very best for both the films.
 
 Q. The promos and teasers of “Kaabil” are a rage. Did you expect such a response?
 
 To be honest, yes. Because they impacted me too.
 
 Q. 2016 was not such a great year for Hindi cinema. Where do you think our films are going wrong?
 
 I don’t blame the films that are being made. It is better and more constructive to blame the work culture and the overall mental benchmark. Most filmmakers just want to get by, not do something that will stand out over and above the rut.

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Q. What according to you is the solution?
 
Specialization and division of labour is so important. That is the primary reason Hollywood is where it is. Even if you are the grip or clapper boy on the set, you take pride in your work. You don’t allow it to be seen as small work, and you take full responsibility. That kind of work ethic then seeps into everything you do in filmmaking.
 
 Q. So you feel our films will improve if everyone does his job?
 
 Yes, (exercise) division — specialise in what you do and don’t start doing other people’s work, concentrate on your own job. And allow others the freedom to surprise you with their own style. Stop wanting to control everything. Having said that, our cinema has immense potential. In “Kaabil”, I experienced what I am talking about. So I know it’s happening.
 
 Q. “Kaabil” is a thriller, but it’s also an intense love story?
 
 Yes, correctly said. It’s really a family audience film. My mother’s compliments mean the world to me. She having loved my work and the movie, means it’s a movie for everyone. Especially families. In other cases, she has been completely blunt, I must say. So I know the happiness this time is genuine.
 
 Q. Your character in “Kaabil” goes all out for love. How far would you go for your love?
 
 To the end of the world. And then some more.
 
 Q. Would you give love and marriage another chance in your life?
 
 Not marriage. No marriage for me, at least as far as I can see. Love fulfils me everyday. I am content and extremely enthusiastic about my life.

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A young colleague who is about to get married complained that her fiancée’ keeps busy and does not give her time. While she wants to spend all or most of her time hanging out with her fiancée, the guy is busy setting up his entrepreneurial venture and not able to spend as much time with her as she wants. She was looking for advice on how to keep engaged.

This set me thinking – How and why do girls set expectations from marriage and their partners? What is a fair expectation from both?

The ugly truth nobody ever tells girls

Sociologically marriage is supposed to be one great milestone for girls… teri shaadi mein aise hoga, waise hoga. Often Indian mothers tell the little ones: I have kept this gold jewellery set for your wedding. Ask any young girl what marriage means to her and she will tell you about her ideal partner, a romantic courtship period, what she is going to wear on her wedding day, jewellery, finery, cosmetics, trousseau shopping, etc. A lot of hype and expectations is inbuilt into the concept of marriage.

No doubt it is a milestone but nobody gives girls a realistic picture of what to expect after marriage. Nobody really prepares the girls for the adjustments that she has to make once she leaves her parents’ house to go and live with another family. Nobody tells her that she needs to maintain her own identity when she is joined in holy matrimony with another soul. Marriage is a new experience for him too (mostly ;-)) and he is also getting used to have another person share his home, his space and his life.

Also Read: How to take care of your wellness for your well-being

Also by Kaamna Jain: My love affair with that little ball of fire and ice

Tackling the wedding blues before the wedding

Being completely dependent on your partner is not a sign of love: Generally once a girl gets into coupledom, she wants to be with her partner in all her free time. She wants to hang out, go out, eat out and have every experience with her man to the point that all her happiness and joy depends on her guy. While the poor guy might enjoy this attention initially, eventually he could feel cloistered and burdened by your expectations. Give the man a chance. Make him a part of your life, not the centre of your universe.

Invest in yourself: Love …yes. Unconditional love… of course yes. Loving you partner spouse does not mean that you stop loving yourself. Love yourself completely and unconditionally. Pamper yourself. Take care of yourself. Remember you used to have an identity before you met your partner. Don’t lose that girl. And if that girl is lost somewhere, seek her out. Visit a parlour, learn a new craft, buy books to read or get membership to a library if you love reading, take self-improvement classes…invest in yourself.

Discover your talents: Each one of us has a gift or a talent. If you have already discovered your gift, nurture it. If not, explore and discover it. You owe it to yourself and your parents. Don’t tell me you don’t even remember what your hobbies are. Think what is it that makes you happy and fulfilled without any input from anyone else. Your spouse may or may not share your habby/passion in life. Irrespective of that, find time to indulge your passion in life.

Be yourself; not a shadow of your partner. Be someone your partner will be proud of. Have your own identity.. This is a peculiar problem faced by the feminine gender because it comes naturally to them – to make their spouse the raison d’être of their existence. When the spouse gets busy earning the daily bread, butter, cheese and the occasional dessert …ladies have a lot of time on their hands with absolutely no clue what to do. Rather than waiting for him and cribbing that he doesn’t give you time, find your centre within you.

Don’t forget your friend circle: Your friends are one of your biggest support systems. They were there before your Prince Charming came along. Take initiative to keep in touch with your friends. Hanging out with friends has a therapeutic effect believe it or not.

Exercise daily: You owe it to yourself to keep your body healthy and disease free. So aim to exercise daily for an hour every day. Aim high so that even if you skip a day or two in the week, you still exercise at least five days a week. Exercise helps release chemicals in your body which promote feelings of well being and happiness. And every man wants to have a healthy and happy partner.

Do your partner and your marriage a favour; don’t build your life around him. Be there for him but first be there for yourself first.

Yami Gautam and Pulkit Samrat are rumoured to be the latest Bollywood lovebirds. Before this promotional interview for their latest movie ‘Junooniyat’, the couple was very sure that they won’t take any personal questions. But once the camera started rolling, their sparkling off screen chemistry was hard to miss.

Their flirtatious banter makes them a delight to watch. Pulkit Sharma and Yami Gautam are on a promotional spree for their upcoming film, which is also based on a soul-stirring love story.

Dr Sarita Sharma is an internationally acclaimed hindi poet. The poetess has a very pleasing original style.
Over the years, she has stole the hearts of millions with her touching romantics poems.